木瓜有BB了!


剛剛又和媽吵架了,起初只是談一些爸爸老朋友宴請我們的事,
後來發展到爸以前很忙沒有時間在家,即使有也是賭馬排時間表
練歌之類的工作,之後媽開始怒斥我要做好本分又說我要知道自己住的地
方是什麼人留給我的,不要這麼反骨,你要他每天也要撫你嗎,人都死了?
我突然停下來,我說: 我沒有說什麼,我只是發表很中性的意見。
難道我只應該對貓說感想嗎?
媽說: 你說你對爸沒有好感嘛!?不是嗎?
我駁斥 : 我才沒有說過,只是你說我對爸沒有好感,
你每次總是把你自己對我的印象和不滿作了個
版本然後再在我頭上觀上了一個你想駡我我罪名。
媽靜了。
是,我知你不捨得駡你的兒子,我自三歲已經知道這個事實,
但你也不用因為哥不肯去那個宴會而找我出氣。
是,人要化,看開一點,是,我知。人很容易便老去死去,我知。
我想說的是,被屈一輩子其實有一點點不好受。尢其那是你的母親。
唉,想不到種了兩年的木瓜榭,一出便是六小枚BB。
而那六枚小東西,我應該用什麼肥才可以把他們養大呢?

4 comments:

Yin said...

That's exactly the same with my mum,except my brother is younger than me...

Think it's got to do with the Confucian idea where the sons are more valued by their family,and being the younger generation,we need to be 'taught'...

Wrote an essay about this not long ago,as there've been many cases of how girls in China suffer by their family because of this...

Stella So said...

my mum always make me in a extrememly contradictive condition.

so uncomfortable.
lunch we argued. afternoon she went to my home for cleaning.

i hate this.
she always don't give me space.
both thinking and living.

she used her kind heart to restrict and hurt me!

she want me to regret! shit!

yin said...

Yes.But at least she loves you enough to clean for you...And you have your own apartment,I'm still living at home.I guess your mum must be unhappy herself to have to make you regret,or she has suffered herself as a daughter and is taking it on you now as your mother?

Hope it'll get better when we get older...

Stella So said...

yes,
u really know what i am thinking.